Sinners & Saints
by randomly
Summary: When Shuichi and Hiro are involved in an accident leaving the singer in a coma, what will Yuki do? Will he face his fears and realize his true feelings for the boy or will he run away, afraid to lose another person close to him? YukiShu YukixShu


**Disclaimer:** Gravitation is not mine; Murakami Maki is the one who came up with this wonderful, wonderful idea, thank her very much for that

**Summary:** When Shuichi and Hiro are involved in an accident leaving the singer in a coma, what will Yuki do? Will he face his fears and realize his true feelings for the boy or will he run away, afraid to lose another person close to him? YukiShu YukixShu

**XXX**

**Sinners and Saints**

**xxx**  
this is from our hearts  
sincerity over simple chords  
we made some mistakes  
but it's a long time coming when you're giving it everything  
**xxx**

Sometimes you don't know what you have until you think you've lost it forever.

**XXX**

At the NG studios Shuichi sighed; He was tired, it was late, and for some unknown reason he was still recording a song. As he was taking a break, eating some candy from a vending machine down the hall, he couldn't help but think of Yuki and how all he wanted was to get home to his lover.

They'd been at the studio since 8.00am that morning, but there was still no saying when they'd be done and it was already 11.15pm – This had to be one of the downsides to being in a successful band, insane work hours. The nineteen-year old huffed and shook his head, standing up to walk back to where they were recording.

**xxx**

"Minna, that's a wrap, you can all go home now." The clock was approximately 02:30am when K's clear voice announced that recordings were done for the day, a welcoming message to the ears of all three members of Bad Luck. The American was waving about with his gun, as all the band members headed for home.

Shuichi and Hiro walked slowly down the corridor towards the elevators, they were on the 24th floor, so taking the stairs didn't seem at all tempting. As they waited for the elevator to arrive, the pink-haired singer took out a packet of pocky, taking one himself then offering his friend to take one.

"Nah, I'm good, but thanks anyway, Shu," Hiro sounded tired, Shuichi understanding him completely – it wasn't normal to turn your sleeping pattern this much.

"If you say so, but you don't know what you're missing out on, Hi-ro." The vocalist's sing-song voice echoed of the walls when he spoke, his redhead friend smiling kindly at him. Hiro put a hand on Shuichi's head, ruffling his hair, then a 'pling' sounded.

"The elevator's here, let's go!" Hiro was tired; he just wanted to go home and sleep. "Oh, by the way, do you need a ride home, Shu? It's late and cold, you shouldn't be walking outside now, at least not you by yourself…" The guitarist's voice was kind, a hint of concern evident. _He worries too much; I'll be just fine even if I walk home by myself_. Shuichi knew it would be of no help arguing as his friend wouldn't let him walk home alone, so he just nodded in agreement.

"Sure."

The two teens stood silently in the elevator the rest of the way down, both too tired to speak, then, when the elevator reached ground floor, they walked slowly outside and over to Hiro's bike. Hiro got on first, Shuichi sitting behind him, arms tightly around his taller friend's waist as they started driving.

It wasn't far to Shuichi and Yuki's apartment, a mere 20 minutes from the NG headquarters, but it was close to 3am and Hiro decided to speed up a little so that he could get home sooner, after all they both had to get up at 7 the next morning to record more songs for their upcoming album.

The summer night air was warm as they drove, and Shuichi was half asleep against his best friend's strong back. The guitarist was also getting tired, the darkness of the night slowly getting to him, as his eyes threatened to close. _Focus, Hiroshi._ He mentally slapped himself for almost falling asleep whilst driving, he knew how dangerous it could be, but he was just so tired.

As the two boys closed in on Yuki's apartment building, only few minutes till they arrived there, Hiroshi's eyes slid closed again, the redhead was on the verge of sleep when he too late noticed the headlights that were on collision course with him and Shuichi. Desperately he tried to break or turn away, but to no avail, and within seconds the inevitable impact hit.

The motor bike was thrown several meters backwards, first in the air, then sliding on the ground, the sound of metal meeting asphalt all too loud in the silence of the night. As the car came to a screeching halt, the doors opened and a middle-aged couple hurried out. The pair ran over to where they could see the bike, wanting to help, but they immediately realized that the only thing they could do for the two boys was to call an ambulance.

The toppled bike was lying atop Hiro and Shuichi, and there was blood everywhere. When the bike had hit the ground and started sliding both boy's right legs had been trapped underneath it, some places the skin and flesh had been torn so badly that if you turned them around you could see the bone. Their whole right sides were scratched up, the singer's worst – Hiro'd been wearing a leather jacket and long pants, Shuichi only his normal of shorts and a tee.

The two boys lay unmoving on the ground, only occasionally groaning or whimpering in pain, as the ambulances arrived, medics rushing out and to their sides.

"What's the situation for the small one?" One of the two medics that were lifting the bike asked loudly, one could easily see that the crash had been worst on him.

"It's not looking good, his blood pressure is dangerously low, heart rate too, but he's breathing. We gotta hurry, though, he won't last long out here…" The female sitting by Shuichi's side replied as she raised Shuichi's head to try and get him back to consciousness. "And the redhead? He alive?"

"Hai, I'd say he's far better off than the little one, his pulse is steady and his breathing is just a little fast – I'd say he's badly bruised, maybe a broken leg, other than that it was just the crash that knocked him unconscious…" The thin-built male looked over at Shuichi, then turned his attention back to Hiro. "Ne, isn't there something familiar about these two, I feel like I've seen them before somewhere…"

"Yeah, I get what you're saying…" The female sitting beside him replied. "The bike's up, let's get them to the hospital." A pair of medics came with the stretchers as the pairs who'd been working on each of the two boy's cooperated and eventually got them, without further harm, onto the stretchers and in the ambulances, rushing towards the hospital with lights and sirens.

**XXX**

Yuki sighed as he looked at his watch again, 3.15am, where was that damn brat? It wasn't like him to be out that late, and no matter what the author said, he cared for the boy - and now he was worried. He'd taken a couple of beers to calm his nerves, he couldn't sleep when he didn't know where the kid was, images of the singer popping up in his mind whenever he tried to sleep or work.

Turning to look out his window he saw a mess of blue lights rushing towards the hospital, _probably some stupid drunks getting into a fight or something_, he could faintly hear the sirens disappearing in the distance.

The blonde walked over to his sofa, dropping down with a soft 'thump'. The ashtray was filled with cigarettes, three beer boxes standing next to it, as he proceeded to empty the one he was currently holding, making it four empty ones. He sat silently on the sofa, waiting for his baka of a lover for another hour before he finally fell asleep, horrible images of what could have happened to _his_ Shuichi haunting his dreams.

As the night passed and the sun slowly came over the horizon Yuki was woken from his sleep when his phone rang, not that he complained. He'd been having horrible dreams of his brat being hurt, dead even, and he couldn't help but worry as he picked up the phone on the table, checking the caller ID to see who it was. _What does Tohma want_? He lightly pressed the answer button, holding the phone to his ear.

"Good morning, Eiri…" Silence. Tohma didn't sound normal; there was something in his voice that worried Yuki, but he decided to let it slide, playing along.

"Morning, Tohma, what is the matter for you to waking me at this hour?" Yuki's voice sounded tired, he just noticed how early it was, 6 am, that meant he'd only slept for a little less than 2 hours.

"Uhm…" Seguchi was hesitating, something was definitely wrong. "I don't know how to tell you this, Yuki…" The voice trailed off, ending in silence once more.

"What? Tell me." The author by now sounded more angry than tired, he had to know what was going on. He got up, walking out on his porch, the cold morning air waking him a little.

"It's about Shindou-kun" Yuki's breath hitched; he knew it, something _had_ happened to his lover. "An hour ago I got a call from one of the hospitals; Shuichi and Hiro have been in an accident. Shuichi was getting a ride home from Hiro yesterday when they were hit by a car, Hiro wasn't too badly injured – he's still asleep though, but Shindou-kun is still in surgery, his condition is critical – they're not sure if he'll… If he'll make it." _No._ This couldn't be. Eiri's mind refused to face the facts thrown at him, this really couldn't be happening. He felt sick, like he was about to throw up, a large knot forming in his gut.

"Where… Is he?" His voice was low and shaky; Tohma couldn't help but worry about his blonde brother in law. He might not like or approve of Yuki and Shindou-kun's relationship, but he knew the blonde loved the singer more than anything; he was just really bad at showing his love. It wasn't really that the NG president really minded Shuichi either, but he was afraid that either Shuichi or Yuki would come out of the relationship brokenhearted, they were just so different, and both had been through enough.

"I had him and Hiro transported to the clinic you go to, I'll tell them you'll be there soon." However much he disapproved of the match, Tohma really cared for both the author and the singer, he knew how much Shuichi loved Yuki, treasuring him above all else, and how Yuki deep down really did love the boy. He also had to admit that the singer had showed his loyalty to the author when he'd let himself get raped just for the sake of the blonde – and at that time they'd even been broken up.

Eiri hung up, getting to his feet. He took his keys of the kitchen counter and stuffed his feet in the closest pair of shoes, then ran out the door and down the flight of stairs leading to the exit door and the parking lot. He hurried over to his car, stressing to fit the keys in the keyhole. Once he was behind the wheel he sped to the hospital, he'd probably get at least one ticket, but he didn't care, he had to get to Shuichi.

**XXX**

As soon as Yuki arrived at the hospital he hurried through the glass doors and straight to the reception. The nurse on duty recognized him from one of his previous visits to this damned place, either that or from his books, he didn't know. Either way she greeted him politely, asking what he wanted.

"Shindou Shuichi, he came in sometime tonight, can you tell me where he is?" Worry was apparent in the blonde's voice as he spoke; it also took on a hint of anger from his stress.

"He's still undergoing surgery, I'll tell you once he's done, then you can see him." The small nurse twisted her long brown ponytail around her index finger and looked at him with a glint of _something_ in her eyes, if Yuki wasn't so preoccupied he'd have noticed her obvious flirting.

"Well… Can you tell me how he's doing?" It took all the authors strength not to scream, that was all he really wanted to do, but he somehow managed to keep his voice at about normal level, talking slowly and calmly.

"I really don't know, you'll have to wait till the surgery's done. Gomen nasai." Yuki turned on his heels, walking with tired steps over to the uncomfortable chairs placed in the dull, gray-ish room for those, who like him, awaited news of their loved ones, taking a seat in the corner.

Minutes passed like hours and hours passed like days as the blonde novelist sat in the corner of the waiting room, awaiting news about _his_ Shuichi, only occasionally walking outside to smoke a cigarette. As the time so slowly passed by, the hour-hand of the large clock hanging over the reception giving off little ticks as it went, Yuki eventually started to dose off, still half awake, but his eyes closed and his mind wandering elsewhere.

**XXX**

"_Yuki, ta-da-i-ma!" Shuichi's beautiful voice sounded loud and clear as the small, thin built boy came jumping in through the door. The author barely looked up from his laptop in reply; this was no different from any other day. _

"_Yu-u-ki, you're so mean! At least you should give me a welcome home kiss! I've been gone __**all**__ day, haven't you missed me just a tiny bit?"The boy was so gorgeous, and the way he radiated so much joy from that petite body was one of the reasons the author was so attracted to him, not that the blonde would ever admit to that. _

"_I'm working, shut up, brat!" He was tired and annoyed, his lover could wait, his deadline couldn't – the book was supposed to be finished by the end of the week, it was now Wednesday. _

"_Ne, Yuki, why are you always like that?" The sudden change in the pink-haired boy's attitude had startled Eiri, gaining his attention. _

"_What is it now?" he said in an annoyed tone, he really didn't have time to deal with whatever this was right now. _

"_It's just… It's nothing!" The smile was back on his baka's face as the boy continued to speak. "I must be bothering you, I'll go out for a walk, but I'll probably be back soon. Ja, Yuki-koi"_

"_Hn." The author turned his attention b__ack to his computer as the singer walked out of the apartment, the door shutting closed behind him. _

_Yuki went out that night, he couldn't work and decided to go to a bar not too far from the apartment. When he returned home late, Shuichi had already gone to bed, the author settled for sleeping on the couch as not to wake the beautiful teen lying in his bed. When he got up the following morning Shuichi had already left, a note left on the kitchen counter was the only sign he'd been in the apartment that night. _

"_Yuki_

_You were sleeping so soundly__ that I didn't care to wake you, you looked so peaceful.  
I've already gone to work, which started at 8 am – crazy right – I don't know when we'll be done tonight since we're recording and all, you know…  
Well, I'll Be home hopefully not too late anyways…  
Can't wait to see you, my koibito. _

_Love, Shuichi__"_

_The horrible handwriting which was Shu's normal was scribbled all across the paper, to top it off was a little heart drawn at the end. _

_That __night was the last he'd spoken with Shuichi, the letter was the last he'd heard from him – it was from the morning before the accident. _

Yuki felt someone nudging him lightly in the shoulder, then poking him in the side of the head when he didn't respond.

"Ngh…" He groaned as he slowly opened his eyes, the lights were so sterile and bright that it took him a while.

"Yuki-san, are you awake?" The nurse that had been in the reception when he arrived spoke with a kind voice, a light smile on her face.

"Yeah. What is it?" His voice sounded colder than he'd meant it to, but this had to be something about the brat, a big knot formed in the authors gut just at the thought of what it could be.

"Shindou-kun, he's out of surgery now. They're keeping him under observation, but they said you could see him. Room 302." Her warm voice made the white hospital environment seem even colder as she spoke, when she was done she turned around to leave. She'd given up any hope that the man would even notice her by now; she'd seen how worried he was about that boy…

"Arigato" It was highly unusual of the man, but as he got up he thanked the nurse, then hurried away from the waiting room. He contemplated waiting for the elevators but figured that, since the room was on the third floor, the stairs would probably be faster.

Running up the stairs and walking quickly down the empty hall where there were only a few nurses and some empty beds, he didn't stop until he reached a door that was almost at the end of the hallway. The numbers 3-0-2 were written on the door with small letters, Yuki's hand was shaking as he put his hand on the small silver handle, opening the door quietly, carefully stepping inside.

As the door softly closed behind him, Yuki couldn't help but gasp at what he saw, his fingers moving unconsciously, seemingly trying to grab the air around them. Between all the white of the hospital bed lay Shuichi, a large amount of wires and tubes were connected to the singer, seemingly measuring _everything_, the rhythm of his heart sounding calmly from the heart monitor standing next to the bed, his breathing kept a constant by another machine not too far from the bed.

_He looks so pale…_ The blonde walked over to the bed, looking down at the small boy he felt a sting in his heart; the usually glowing boy now looked so fragile. His skin was pale, some places bruises and scratches broke the white, but that was of no comfort – if anything it only made the boy look more vulnerable.

"Shuichi…" The author whispered his lovers name warmly as he pulled the only chair in the room over to the bed and sat down. Cautiously, as if not to pull out any of the many small wires, he found one of pink-haired boy's small hands and held it tight in his for hours on end, finally falling asleep when again the night fell, but never letting go.

**XXX**

In between the white of the hospital sheets lay the guitarist of Bad Luck, tossing and turning. His dreams were returning him to the scene of the accident, images of his best friend hurt, bloody and possibly dead were flooding his subconscious mind. Just as a particularly bad image came to mind which involved spilled guts and mangled corpses he felt something warm touching his cheek softly before disappearing.

"Won't you wake up soon, Hiroshi-kun, I'm worried about you, you know…" He knew the voice that broke through the barrier of sleep, the gentle girl's voice that seemed so soothing to him as he writhed when another horrible scenario took over his nightmares.

"Ngh…" He moaned in pain as he slowly tried to open his eyes, his right leg, arm and several ribs were broken, and he'd gotten a severe concussion when his head met with the ground.

"Hiro, are you waking up?" The girl sounded sincerely worried as her hand took a hold of his, gripping it tightly as if she was afraid to let go. "Hiro, try and show me if you can hear me…" As the guitarist again groaned out loud he tried to squeeze her hand just a little, it was enough for her to notice as she with her free hand pushed the button alarming the nurses.

"Where…" Hiro turned his head slowly so he was facing the door, his sight was still blurry, but he could make out the outlines of things, also the brown haired girl standing next to his bed. "The hospital?" The question was in reality rhetorical, he knew, now, where he was, but yet she answered.

"Hai, Hiroshi-kun…" The girl's face turned serious as she told him what had happened. "You had an accident on your motorbike and crashed. You've been asleep since they got you here at around half past three or quarter to four, so that means for more than 12 hours, you had me so worried about you…" As his sight became clearer he could make out the girls face, it was Ayaka. He'd been going out with the girl for quite some time – they'd gotten together first a couple of months after Yuki had chosen Shuichi over her – and he absolutely adored her.

"Ah…." Every movement hurt as he tried to move himself into a sitting position just as a nurse followed by a doctor entered the room. When they were in the room they made Ayaka stand aside and started checking various things – once they were satisfied they turned to the confused guitarist, the doctor, who was a male seemingly in his late twenties, spoke first.

"Nakano-san, how are you feeling?" The doctor, who was currently standing by the head-end of the bed and looking down at Hiro, smiled gently.

Honestly, Hiro thought, I feel horrible, guilty for everything, really stupid and everything fucking hurts, but… "I don't feel too bad, considering…" The brunette attempted a smile, his lips twitching as another wave of pain shot through his body even with all the painkillers he was currently out-drugged by.

"Do you remember anything of what happened, Nakano-san?"

"Hai… Ayaka-chan just told me before you entered, and I can remember most of it…" Hesitation. Hiro wasn't sure he wanted to ask, but he had to know how his best friend was doing. "How… How is _he_?" No need to say more, everyone understood who the brunette meant; a heavy silence fell upon all the four people currently in the room.

The nurse left the room, having noticed a sign from the doctor signaling her too, so now they were only three left. "Well, Nakano-san… We really don't know. He was badly injured and… well, he was badly injured and is in a coma, it's serious. We're not sure whether he'll wake up or not." An apologetic expression passed the doctors face before his normal one returned.

"Oh…" Silence again filled the room, then the doctor spoke.

"Well, I'll leave now; I have to check on some others, will you be alright, Nakano-san?"

"Alright is relative, I suppose, but yes, in the sense you are asking I will be good." Hiro looked down as the doctor opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, the poor boy didn't need someone making him remember, he probably had it rough enough.

"Then I will leave you two here, don't hesitate to call for help if anything comes up."

"Hai" Hiro felt Ayaka's hand slip gently into his, her thumb stroking it gently, as he watched the doctor and nurse leave the room. He was tired but knew he would not be able to sleep as nightmares were all that awaited him, deciding, instead, to stay up and talk to the sweet brunette now sitting on his bed, still holding his hand softly.

**XXX**

In the singer's room all was quiet except for the unnatural sounds made by the machines keeping the teen alive, and the slow, even breathing of his lover. Doctors had come and gone throughout the night, nurses been by to check on both the patient and his visitor – telling him it was past visiting hours sometime during the night but still letting him stay – but no changes had occurred, the deadly peace that seemed to envelop the room was still evident as Yuki slowly opened his eyes, his groggy mind soon coming to terms with where he was and why.

"Shuichi…" The blonde male, who was currently trying to sit up, realized he was still holding the singer's hand in his as he had been last night, giving the numb limb a stroke with his thumb before he let go, rising to his legs and walking over to the window of the third floor room looking out over Tokyo. The Tokyo that seemed all to quiet, it was close to mid-day and yet the world seemed to stand still to him, it had ever since he learned the news of his lifeless lover.

"You better wake up soon, brat? Don't you know I need you here? I won't let you leave me kid, if you try I'll," A clenched fist moved through the air, a choked sob sounding so low it was almost as if it was never let out, "I'll…" He said no more, the truth being he didn't know what to say, he'd been left before and he'd make sure it never happened again.

The boy in the bed stayed silent, not even stirring, the author sitting down on the chair that was placed in the corner of the room, settling to watch his wounded lover for hours before Tohma came to see the state of things, forcing him down to the canteen to get something to eat. As soon as the taller blonde was done eating he got up to get back to Shuichi as quick as possible, but a hand on his stopped him.

"Eiri." He turned, shaking the hand away.

"Not now, Tohma, I have to go back to him, what if he wakes up and I'm not there? What if something happens when he is all alone? If you have something to say, say it on the way to his room."

"He'll pull through, Eiri," the smaller man said confidently, he knew how worried the other must be, and he'd do his best to calm him down. "He always is."

"But this time it's not just anything… You saw him…" The author shook his head, willing not to think of his first impression of the pale, still boy. They walked in silence the rest of the way, Yuki, as normal, simply not talkative, and Tohma didn't know what to say.

Tohma left the hospital after few hours, but Yuki stayed by his lover's side, determined to be there if the boy woke up, remaining silent in the chair that he'd now moved to the window so that he could look out. Occasionally he would talk to the boy, but getting no reply he soon gave up, slowly realizing just how bad things seem.

**XXX**

It'd been a week since the accident and Shuichi had still not awakened. By the end of the second day one of the doctors, Mika and Tohma had practically forced Yuki to go home, if nothing else than to wash up, eat and get some clean clothes, which he had before immediately returning to the hospital. In the time that had passed since Hiro and Shuichi ended up in the hospital a lot of people had come to visit them, including Shuichi's and Hiro's families, Sakuma Ryuichi, Fujisaki and several others.

Hiro was recovering well, and in a week's time, the doctor had said, he would be able to leave the hospital so long as he had someone to help him out, Ayaka had agreed to that, but there was still no change what so ever in the singer's condition, which caused everyone to worry for him.

Yuki sat by his boyfriends bed for hours on end every day, not as long as the first two days, but he was there from around 8am in the morning till about 10 at night, he'd turned in his newest manuscript and told his publisher that he wasn't sure when he'd be able to write another, he was too worried about Shuichi to care for something so trivial at the moment.

He got out of the chair and walked over to the small teen that was lying all too still, placing a brief kiss on the boy's lips before he left for the day, stroking a hand through his hair and holding his hand a short moment, telling him that he'd be back the next day.

**XXX**

Yuki was lying in his bed. It was 3 am and he was trying to sleep, something which wasn't going well. Every time he closed his eyes a picture of a certain, pink haired teen would come to mind, or he'd hear a soft voice singing softly. He sat up, realizing that he probably wouldn't get much sleep that night regardless of what he did, and walked into his kitchen getting a glass of water.

After he'd emptied the glass he walked into the living room, turning on the TV and lighting a cigarette to calm his nerves. He flicked through the channels, attempting to find an actually watchable program, almost dropping the remote as he heard a familiar voice, followed by seeing a familiar face on the television.

The images passing his TV screen were from Shuichi's last concert, he knew because he'd actually been at that one, the boy singing in the background as the host of whatever the show was called spoke.

"It's been a month to the day since Shindou Shuichi, vocalist of Bad Luck, and Nakano Hiroshi, or Hiro as you may know him, were in the accident that places Shu-chan in a persistent coma, Hiro was released from the hospital quite some time ago…" Yuki couldn't stand the remainder of how long it had been, hearing Shuichi's voice didn't appeal to him either, and so he turned off the TV and went to the kitchen, dry-swallowing two sleeping pills before he went back to bed, falling asleep thanks to the drugs. Tomorrow he'd go see his Shu-chan again, maybe then he'd wake up…

**XXX**

Hiro and Fujisaki were meeting as Bad Luck for the first time since the accident, it'd already been three months since the accident and Shuichi had yet to get out of the coma, the people around him were slowly losing hope, facing the fact that the boy might never wake up. Hiro would easily admit that he'd shed his share of tears for his friend, both out of worry and guilt, and he visited him as often as time would allow. Fujisaki had also been to visit the teen, albeit not as often, but he'd been there at least once a week.

The two had been talking for quite some time before the awkward silence that had now fallen on them happened. Hiro was the one to break it.

"I think..." he stopped, thinking for a little while. "I think we should get a new vocalist and continue, that's what he'd want, for the music to continue…" He was sad to say it, but even Hiro was losing hope that their vocalist would wake up, though he knew Shuichi would want the band to go on at any cost.

"Yeah, but is that ok with you, Hiro-kun?" Fujisaki asked, genuinely concerned with the brunette.

"I… Actually, I think so, since I know Shu would want it… and at any rate, if he does wake up we can still take him back, right?" The green haired boy shook his head, but said nothing. It wouldn't be as easy as 'just to take him back' if they got another vocalist, but they could make it happen, and regardless he wanted to continue making music.

"Sure," he said. "How about auditions for a new vocalist, then?"

"Well," Hiro said, "How about if we announce tomorrow that we'll be holding them in two weeks, that'll give them time." Fujisaki nodded, that worked.

"Ok, let's start working on what we'll say, then…"

**xxx**

"How does that sound, eh, Shu?" Hiro was sitting by Shuichi's hospital bed, he'd just read out loud the announcement that he and Fujisaki had made regarding a new singer to the teen, smiling melancholy as he did so. It hurt so see his friend in his current state, it was so far from his happy, hyper self that it was almost unthinkable for Hiro.

Looking at Shuichi made him feel so terribly guilty; had he just not driven him home that night, had he not taken his bike in the state he was in but rather a cab or something, they would both have been completely fine; instead, he was left with a limp, and Shu was still in a coma.

"Wont't you just wake up, Shu, it's been so long…" he sighed. "I miss you, so does everyone else, even Yuki… You know he's here every day? It's ironic, neh, that what it took for him to notice you like you always wanted was this?"

The brunette stayed in the hospital for a little more than an hour before he had to go, he was meeting with Ayaka, and today he was going to propose to her.

**XXX**

"You may kiss the bride," the priest said, and so he did. Hiro smiled brightly, only outshone by that of his now wife, Ayaka, the only thing that could have made the day better was if Shuichi had been there, but even though they'd kept the wedding off for 8 months after he proposed the boy had still not come out of the coma, and so they'd given up waiting. They had, however, managed to make it so that Shuichi wasn't completely left out, having the ceremony the same day as Bad Luck's professional debut. They'd considered his birthday, but Hiro wanted to be with his friend on that day, and so had several of the people they were thinking to invite, so they'd chosen the next best date.

Yuki sighed, he didn't really like weddings, but he'd come to Hiro's anyways, thinking that Shuichi would never forgive him if he hadn't gone. It'd been 11 months, he thought to himself, and the boy was still fast asleep, not showing any sign of life. Although he was breathing by himself and his heart beat without any machines now he was still in a coma, his brain refusing to 'turn on', as Yuki simply put it to himself.

He walked over to the groom and bride and congratulated them sincerely, the pair were some of Shu's closest friends, but as he was about to leave Hiro put a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you ok, Yuki?"

"It's Uesugi, really, but you can call me Eiri, though." The author said whilst thinking over what to answer to the question. "I suppose I am…" he said, preferring not to talk about emotions with someone whom he didn't know too well, in reality, with someone who wasn't Shuichi.

"Sou… Well, I'm glad you care so much for him, thank you." The groom said, puzzling the author, none the less he smiled and walked off, leaving the wedding and heading for the hospital to see his beloved Shuichi, who would be 20 years old in just two weeks.

**XXX**

Yuki thought back to the previous day, Shuichi's birthday. He'd spent the whole day at the hospital with the boy, even when there came other visitors like his brother, Tatsuha, and Ryuichi or Ayaka and to see him, he'd stayed, only leaving that evening when Shuichi's family had come after having a brief conversation with them.

He lay down on his couch and put his hands beneath his head, dozing off.

"_Yuki?" Shuichi sat up in his bed, smiling that same smile he would always smile. _

"_You're awake?" He asked, his heart skipped a beat at the fact that the boy had finally come out of his coma._

"_Shouldn't I be?" The boy asked, only then did Yuki realize that they weren't in the hospital like he thought, rather in the bed in his very own apartment, and they were both undressed. The author was too confused to answer, and it hadn't mattered if he had something to say, because at the sight of his lovers smile his voice failed him, the boy looked just like an angel to him. "You were great last night…" Shuichi lifted his left hand and ran a finger gently across Yuki's chest, looking straight into his eyes. _

"_Of course," Yuki said, he had a feeling he was supposed to, although he couldn't remember anything before that very morning._

"_A little overconfident, maybe?" Said the strange, un-Shuichi like Shuichi sitting next to him, then he leaned in and placed a passionate kiss on the authors lips._

Yuki sat up, shaking his head. That was a disturbing dream, but then again, he'd been having many of those lately. There were so many thoughts in his head, so much he somehow needed to get out, and he reached for his laptop, which was on the table, and opened it, when it'd turned on he opened a new word document and started typing. It felt strange, the keyboard beneath his fingers, he hadn't written anything since the manuscript he delivered right after the accident, it had been so long.

He kept writing for quite some time, the document ending at 15 pages, before he looked at his watch and realized it was the middle of the night, saving the document and closing the laptop, then he walked to his bedroom and quickly undressed before he lay down in the cold, empty bed, falling asleep almost right away.

**XXX**

Yuki was sitting at his desk, his mind constantly being distracted by the silence of his apartment – when the singer had been there noise had seemed such an annoyance, now he'd give anything to hear the door open and his lover's light steps come running to the living room, 'tadaima' being called out in that wonderful, soft voice that only Shuichi possessed.

He was fidgeting with a book as he took up his cell-phone looking at the clock, 7 pm, it was time for him to go, he flung the book onto the desk, the title briefly showing before it landed, "Sinners and Saints". It was the first book he'd written ever since Shu's accident, and it was about two men who loved each other, only to be parted by those who opposed their lifestyle, but throughout their lives they could never let go of their memories of the other, and in the end of the book they found each other again, albeit several years later, but they still had time to be happy, they still had time to live their lives the way they wanted.

**xxx**

The book was left lying open on his desk as he got up to go see he beloved Shuichi for his daily visit – he'd been going to the hospital every day for three years - the blank first page turning to reveal page three, where black ink was printed neatly on the page, black ink that read:

"This book is dedicated to the love of my life, the one I cherish more than anything. This is for you, my dear, even though you are not here to read it at the moment I have faith that one day you will return, and until that day I will wait for you.

It's so clear now that you are all that I have  
I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have  
Just give me a chance to hold on  
Just give me something to hold on to"

**XXX**

**Song****s:** Drunks, Lovers, Sinners and Saints by Alexisonfire (Where I borrowed the title and the verse in the beginning from) and the verse at the lyrics from the very end are from You're All I Have by Snow Patrol.

Randomness (you may call me Miu): I started this aaaages ago, but I got a block for it, so when that ended I just had to finish it… Now it's 5 am and a friend I haven't seen for 4 years is coming tomorrow… er, later today at 1 pm-ish, so I should get some sleep…  
Hope you enjoyed it!

**Review**, all you pretty people, it makes me happy and I shall throw candy at you if you do


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